Moved Again

So here we are now, six months in a new home, state, husband job, church, people, the whole shabang is new.Never even set foot in North Carolina before we came to house hunt. The following is something I wrote before the move.


Our new journey=not knowing what to expect. Could be death or birth and certainly things we don't expect at all. The unknown, with lots of variables for 2010, will be full of surprises and disappointments.
What to do to prepare for the journey? Knowing the journey continues whether we are ready or not, taking JOY along deep inside, gives us a sense of God indwelling, protecting, providing.
The Christ Child is the key. The gifts are the example for us to offer ourselves and our gifts in ways we'd never imagined!

God came with us! He was here all along, ready to help and comfort in those times of disappointment, which have definitely come along. Not my will, but Yours, Lord.

I Can't Stop Crying

I bought a card once and keep it still that says, "It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

Not that I didn't have one, it's just that there were way too many complications and reactions to those.

My imagination has always been my friend.

The Lord Jesus, Gentle Shepherd, has saved me more than once, I believe.

The people I loved most are all gone now. "Too late to 'pologize, it's too-ooo-ooo late." Good song and apropos for this situation.

Nancy the singer sang,
"I been siftin'
through the layers,
dusty books
n' faded papers,
tell a story
I used to know,
but it happened
so long ago."

I want to make things that somehow tell their stories. I know about mental illness and adoption and faith and art.

I know about days spent thinking with my eyes open, but all I see is the reflection of my retina on the back of my cornea.

I know about days spent crying because those tears needed to come out so God could put them in His bottle.

What a relief. Thanks, Gentle Shepherd, thanks.

Acquisition Overload

How much STUFF is in your garage? There's way too much in mine. Even though two truckloads have already been hauled away, the stacks go to the ceiling on two sides. I wonder how much necessity screams from those boxes? In all probability, not much. So slowly but surely we will sort and give and sort and toss and sort and save. All the while, I will think about the ways I might need something some day as it hits the "toss" pile. I guess if that day comes, I will have to barter for another whatever it was.

I remain thankful for God's keeping me even though I might not perform as well as intended, or take up the truly appropriate amount of space on the planet. I might never figure out what I want to be when I grow up. But He will still keep me! His universe is filled with souls, but it never overflows! He never says "Enough!" until that coming Last Day. Hallelujah! the Lord has plenty of space for all who hope in Him and accept His gifts of grace.

Land

My little piece of land, viewed from above by the Google satellite, looks different. It appears so much smaller, so much not what you feel when you drive in the gate. The field opens up and rolls ahead of you as you walk in or drive in. You never know what animal you will surprise that takes a quick look then dashes off to hide from you. Except the cows. They don't hardly budge and they're not even supposed to be in there. Sometimes the flowers are so pretty, leaning and dancing in the winds. You can't see any of that on the satellite phot. Just a patch of land, barely delineated form any other in the county. The road is shaped just like you remember it with the sharp turn here, the curve there that finally bends around to your gate. God comes to see you there when you walk outside. On your own land or anywhere, He's there. He'll be there for the next people, too, if they will walk and watch and listen.

Mystery Meat

Did your college cafeteria serve mystery meat?

Here's the Deal

Here's the deal. Life and death keep coming, day in and day out. Since I got here, lessons came and while some stuck, some eluded my ownership. Rebecca McIntosh O'Dell died this week and you should look at the minuscule video on Facebook about her. She lived and taught the truth and loved really well.

She learned to survive brain cancer while her husband progressed from mysterious stiffness to death itself. She survived his death and seven years past her prognosis. In their dying they both lived their faith with a joy unmatched by most.

Joy is not the absence of suffering but is the presence of God. That joy is sacred. The knowledge of God is sacred. We can compose ourselves in the face of life. We can acknowledge the sacred and search for the knowledge of God. Are not peace and joy the goal?

I know I learned from Rebecca once and for all that God is absolutely not a kill-joy or a backhand when I sin. He doesn't count my missteps, although I will be accountable for them one day. He enriches my life with His presence. He has welcomed Rebecca home now and waits to welcome me some day.

That's the deal. We believe and we go home to God.